Don't you just hate when you know you should be doing something, but procrastinate until it's a dull though persistent lull at the back of your head saying 'do it, do it, you vile procrastinator?' Well, for the past few weeks (more like months) I've been putting off updating my blog and it's already February. Good God, it is so hard to keep up with time.

So, getting down to this year then - SHM happened. Refer to the post below for all the details (although it doesn't fully capture the chaos, the food, the fun, the passive smoke and the thrill of a first concert). I now have a new job! It involves what I love namely art, being creative and Biology. Medical illustration is really interesting and is constantly pushing me to step out of my realm of ignorance and embrace softwares like Photoshop and Flash. I've been avoiding Photoshop for the last few years now, almost like a girl would avoid her ex -  I'm bloody glad that some God sent force pushed us in the same room together and taught us that it doesn't hurt to be on better terms. I love how I love Photoshop now. Not to mention the additional perks of a Wacom tablet - which just makes digital painting such a thrill. This new place is damn chilled out. No one cares if you semi - stomp in your chair to Markus Schulz or type too loudly. And no one invites you to dumb 'office dos' that you have to go to in order to fit in. I also teach basic English for an hour everyday and it is such a good feeling to be able to make a difference in somebody's life (even if it is as small as getting one's tenses right). 

This year, I hope to do the following (it's still February, never too late to chalk out those resolutions, I reckon?)

- Declutter. 

- Drive. On the road as opposed to around my building.

- Push myself to be better at what I do. And master atleast two softwares even if that means learning from tutorials on the internet.

- Live in the moment.

- Sell some art.

- Go to as many music festivals/concerts as I can.

- Save up for Sea View.

- Be a better daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend.

Heaven's got a Plan

Off The Bucket List .

                          We came. We Raved. We Loved. Not so easily! We came to Mumbai, and circumstances didn't allow it. We then headed back home and waited for the longest 2 months of our lives. It was again that time, and 20th January, 2013 was deemed as THE day, in Bangalore. However, our beloved Mafia couldn't make it and it was understood by the fans. The urge to see the Swedish perform superseded all other commitments. They promised us a gig, and they made it the following day. I was unusually ecstatic, earlier that morning. We knew that our wait had counted itself down to only a few hours.  

                          You are greeted by the 16000+ crowd and it is Ridiculous how awesome it is. It took us a while to exchange our tickets and meet up with a few others, but we got in well before it was time.  Tuhin Mehta and Shaan were warming up the crowd, but I tip my hat to Rohit Barker's set. I wasn't going to wait any longer to jump. It was soon time for Swedish House Mafia, and boy did they really make an entrance. The production was OFF THE HOOK. A build up to the curtain drop- Now we see Axwell, Ingrosso and Angelo!! It was all taking place right in front of you! The intro, the lights and the fireworks (,the few whiskies) made for a visual treat. No other artist/group really puts on the kind of a show that SHM did, and we were in awe of the wild 2 hours that had only just begun. 'We came, we raved, we loved'  is apparently the opening track which soon mixed into Greyhound, and subtly done so. Their set was filled with explosive tunes! The kind of tracks that would justify being the soundtrack every awesome moment that you experienced. All that one would hope to be included in their set- 'Reload, Calling, Save The World, Don't You Worry child, In My Mind'  were striking the right chord with each and everyone of those madsixteenthousandpeople and their remix of Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall never sounded better to me. Although, I can't stop raving about the set-up. Never before had the lights and the fireworks and the sound and the display ( feeling the need to attend another gig) played such a major role. IT WAS CRAZY. The unbelievable kind of crazy. I can only imagine the view from the stage, while those lights shone down upon that insane crowd just dancing away to the beats, embracing all those lights and their three favourite Swedish encircled by their respective 3 dots. 

               The best moment would've probably been when Axwell asked everyone to sit down, (although some were glad to just sit on shoulders of their counterparts/others) whilst Don't You Worry Child was playing. '.. See heaven's got a plan for you' and then the drop! AND EVERYBODY JUMPS!! Its insane how everyone jumped in unison- which now leads me to believe that the nearby areas might've felt a tremour. We noticed the Indian flag light up the stage and you could hear the crowd scream and cheer so loud, it would put a plane taking-off to shame.

                  The maddening set was coming to an end, and we were only hungry for more. It was great to hear Axwell communicate so much to the crowd. SHM left us to an acoustic version of Save The World that thanked everyone who was a part of the show, and everyone who made it possible. I too, would like to thank Percept and the Sunburn crew for making this happen. Although it soon dawned upon us that this was probably the last time that we would see them, we couldn't believe of the experience we just had. Thus explaining the ambivalence in the area. The walk out seemed like a music festival too , but with much tinier, 4- wheeled stages that didn't want it to be over. 

                   Turns out heaven did have a plan for us. I have marked 'Attend SHM' off my bucket list. It was all and more than I imagined it to be. It was the experience of a lifetime, and for the truly optimistic- a kickass kick-start to 2013. 

It was great having you, SHM. Goodbye, and goodluck. 

We came, We Raved. They Loved.

(Written by Kunal Waghray)

'But right now, these moments are not stories - this is happening. I can see it. Just one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song on that drive with the people who you love the most in this world. And in that moment I swear, we were infinite.'
- Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Sunshine and Frosty Swirls

I'm happy when, after a particular chilly day, the sun shines brightly and envelops me in warmth. I'm often mesmerized by how everything appears to glow; how the little specs of dust collide tardily in the ray of sun light that enters the key hole; how sunshine has the power to invigorate you almost immediately (especially after a gloomy/rainy day). I'm happy when I read a novel that makes me cry, laugh and dream. I often jot down quotes and paragraphs that I connect with and when I re-read them, even after months, they speak to me in a way I can't quite describe. I'm happy when I go shopping, and make a bee line for the nearest accessory store, and try on a ring with a big flashy stone and a smooth metal band. I keep little notes, bits of tattered bills; letters; wrapping paper; shells and other novelties of significance. I feel like a hoarder sometimes, stuffing new additions in every crevice of space I find - but then again, I know that on a bad day, nothing will make me happier than looking through those piles of memories. The sight of food makes me happy. I love the recherché combination of fragrance, flavour and a good presentation. Most often, even curd rice fills me with such joy, I start to clap like a seal in a circus or do a quick jig before I start to eat. A family dinner with dogs running around; familiar faces; laughter and a strumming guitar makes me happy. Eating a frosty swirl with my best friend in the auto, while we make a mess of our clothes, makes me happy. A Breaking Bad episode, a movie that stays with me, fruity lip gloss, lace, a cupcake, a painting, a connection with a stranger, a hot cup of tea, a drive on a rainy day, a blog, a story, a date..I truly believe that the little things in life are as meaningful and important as the bigger life changing ones.

 I think as human beings, we inadvertently fantasize about the idea of being happy, when instead, we should be embracing the very moment when we are. For instance, we promptly dismiss fleeting moments of felicity - in the hope that there will be something better, something more worthy of the term 'happiness'. I'd like to quote Orhan Pamuk here, who so beautifully sums up what I want to convey - "In fact no one recognizes the happiest moment of their lives as they are living it. It may well be that, in a moment of joy, one might sincerely believe that they are living that golden instant "now," even having lived such a moment before, but whatever they say, in one part of their hearts they still believe in the certainty of a happier moment to come. Because how could anyone, and particularly anyone who is still young, carry on with the belief that everything could only get worse: If a person is happy enough to think he has reached the happiest moment of his life, he will be hopeful enough to believe his future will be just as beautiful, more so."

We've all heard it before - live in the present, why worry about the future? Seems like a fairly reasonable mantra to live by, right? Wrong. The way I see it, the future is an ubiquitous shadow lurking close by. It peeps at you from behind the nearest alley, constantly reminding you that it is around - watching you, judging your every decision. Eventually when you give up eluding the future, you decide to plan for it instead. Yes, I am one such planner. If you think I'm trying to sell this idea to you, I'm most definitely not. I hate how I constantly worry and dwell on what is to come. On a good day, I am thrilled at the promise and possibilities the future holds. On other days, I fear the change it will necessitate and the disappointment it will  bring. Very often, I am vexed by the thought that everything I have done so far will be for nothing. A degree in Mass Media when my passion has always been Art, deciding to stay in a city when I could've been somewhere else, choosing to work  instead of travelling the world and going back to college - and most often, this isn't just restricted to my professional decisions but my personal relationships too.
Being at constant battle with yourself is the worst kind of conflict, because you can't shut it out like you can another person. There are no doors you can slam or long drives you can take to get away from it. So, that leaves me with just one option : find a way around it.
Stop planning three years down the line, stop being unsure, stop dwelling and most importantly, stop looking back to scrutinize. While there are hundred things that can go wrong, there are also hundred things that can go right. How's that for a start?

The Important Things

I once dated a Writer and
Writers are forgetful,
but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but they remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date...
They remember every story you've ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you've just said.
They don't remember to water the plants
or take out the thrash,
but they don't forget how
to make you laugh.

Writers are forgetful
because
they're busy
remembering
the important things.