Confusion.
The one word that describes my state of mind most of the time. Should I or should I not. Right or wrong. Maybe or maybe not. Most of the time, when you see things start to go the right way, all of a sudden your weighed with a decision you have to take. And that's when confusion sets in.
But what happens when you have to bear the consequences of somebody else being confused? What if, in the process of them figuring out what they want, you have to wait? Wait to find out what they need, wait to find out how it's going to change your life and wait to see if that's what you want too. Unfortunately, this is something you learn to live with. Because maybe, everyone's alike when it comes to this one. You just make a decision and the other has to live with it.

Yes.
It has been a while. And lots has happened over the last couple of months.
First, THE wedding. Sure, i went there with a long face, because missing new year here wasn't what i wanted, but hell no. I was so wrong. The long face turned into a much happier one, in the midst of all the happiness, love, and new faces =). Our family was re-united with much difficulty, but it was all worth it. The bride looked gorgeous and so did the rest. Hard to believe one out of six is already married! Anyway, it proved to be quite an event and i still really wish i was back there and could relive it all over again.
With a severe wedding hangover, it took me a while to get used to my normal, not-so-bright-world. But i did come back with all my thoughts sorted and have finally decided to let go of things not worth it and learn to live a little more. Not to mention the constant tagging and excessive logging onto facebook, to see the aftermath in print! =)
Then came exams. They as usual have managed to completely deprive me of seeing the outside world. And brought on endless nights of lack of sleep, which i sure am making up for now, if i might add. =p
Next came chunks's birthday. Alcohol being my newest attraction, thanks to the wedding again, took over in full swing, while my low capacity stayed on. FUN. Not to forget a horrible hangover the following day.
Oh. And practice for our school 'rock-band' is killing us.
Yeah. so thats about it. the major events i've not really had the time to pen down. Also im really starting to see my blogs getting happier =)

I want those days back, when...
I wasn't lied to.
I wasn't just another 'anybody' in certain people's lives.
I wasn't afraid to trust.
I wasn't scared of being alone.
I wasn't on the receiving end of being betrayed.

But sadly, i can't turn back time. And i can't have it my way.
I guess that's just life.

Differences.
They have this way of creeping up behind you, and biting you when you don't need them the most. But nonetheless, they give you a chance to grow. Everyone has them, in every relationship. Yet most often they make you nervous, and to avoid them you do stupid things. For instance, i panic every time there's a difference in opinion. But i've learnt that tackle them with ease, and you'll definitely prove your point. Cause end of the day, you only learn from them. Differences. They give you a chance to see for yourself, who sticks around and loves you inspite of them.

To let go. Definitely not the easiest thing to do, not even close. But sometimes, its inevitable. You can't hold on to a rope, by mere strings, and expect not to fall. Sure, you're most often afraid that you're leaving behind memories, forgetting them in some weird way. But you're not. You're only learning to accept. Accept that everything in life doesn't work out the way you want it to and that maybe its the end of that chapter in your life, and time to move on. It makes you stronger, it teaches you nothing is forever, and you do have worth. Most importantly, letting go just takes you to a better place, pushes you forward, making room for discovery of the better things in life.

Once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is: we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.