'I had a terrible day'- we say it all the time. A fight with the boss, a stomach flu, traffic- that's what we describe as terrible, when nothing terrible is happening. These are the things we beg for- a root canal, an I.R.S.audit, coffee spilled on our clothes. When the really terrible things happen we start begging to the God we don't believe in to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it have helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known those were the best moments of our life?
-Grey's Anatomy.

'Every organization must think the unthinkable or expect the unexpected, and prepare an emergency plan  for implementation as and when a crisis occurs.' Every time I read that in my PR text book, I'm reminded of me. I'm the organization of course, ready and waiting for my company (which, you guessed it, is my life) to crumble around me.
Yes, my crisis management committee comprises of just one person: me. Call me a pessimist, but I've learnt that 'too good to be true' is just a phrase. Today, you might have stability, trustworthy employees, profits that are soaring, maybe a good old teak desk you dream of when you're back home and lying in bed. However, the next day, who knows? What is the guarantee? That's where crisis management comes into play. You 'expect the unexpected, the unthinkable'. You look for every little sign of instability (even if it's at the lowest level),  you learn to be skeptical of your employees because who is to say they won't stray, you try and stay grounded even when you know your business is envied and you buy another teak desk, just in case. Over time, skepticism starts becoming involuntary, almost second nature. You want assurance and promise, both of which cannot be given per se. You are so wrapped up in your 'crisis management' business, it's like you're almost waiting for something to happen.
Now that, my friend, is when you know you're in serious trouble. Today, I'm standing here with all my doubts and insecurities and wondering 'when the hell did I get here?' It's like everytime one of my employees gets up and walks towards the coffee machine, I catch up with him in a flash and say 'you're leaving? How could you?' And he looks at me all aghast and says 'uh? I'm just getting a coffee'. I know I'm being obsessive and scrutinizing every little thing, and as hard as it is to admit, I feel like one of those horrible bosses bordering on senile.


And that's really starting to scare me.

The truth is, we don't know half of what happens in the world. We sit in our homes, comfortable and fatted, unaware of the treacheries that people are faced with every waking minute of their lives. If there's one thing I can say about the films of today, it is that they teach you something; open your eyes even. I'm not talking about trash like robots running around or time travelling machines- which in all honesty are okay if you're just looking to be entertained- but real movies that tell true stories. Things that happen everyday, things you wouldn't even fathom in your wildest dreams, things that honestly, you are so lucky not to be part of. It breaks my heart that the world is such a rotten place to live in for millions. And what's even worse is that the concept of security is not just foreign but defiled. The next time you're going out and your Mum says 'be careful', don't wonder why she said it.

Wonder why she didn't. 

I'm on the eight season of Greys Anatomy.
I practically waited four months for it to start. In fact, I started waiting for it the minute the last season came to a close (stating the obvious). I was six days too late for the first episode (broke my heart), computer glitch you see. Anyway, I just watched it. I swear I didn't cry for the first 70 something minutes. And I was so proud of myself, because let's face it, I can almost count the number of episodes I haven't cried for. On one hand, I'd like to add. And then it all took a turn for the worse and before long, I was biting my lip while the tears rolled down. There was also a lot of sniffing on my right (the little sister) combined with my own occasional slightly-too-loud sobs. Oh, how I've missed you Greys! Eight seasons and you never get old.

I've talked about Elizabeth Gilbert quite a bit in my previous posts, so by now, you must have a fair idea how much I love her writing.

'The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice. Equally disquieting are the times when we do make a choice, only to later feel as though we have murdered some other aspect of our being by settling on one single concrete decision. By choosing Door Number Three, we fear we have killed off a different- but equally critical- piece of our soul that could only have been made manifest by walking through Door Number One or Door Number Two.
The philosopher Odo Marquard has noted a correlation in the German language between the word zwei, which means "two", and the word zweifel, which means "doubt"- suggesting that two of anything brings the automatic possibility of uncertainty to our lives. Now imagine a life in which every day a person is presented with not two or even three but dozens of choices, even with all its advantages, a neurosis- generating machine of the highest order. In a world of such abundant possibility, many of us simply go limp from indecision. Or we derail our life's journey again and again, backing up to try the doors we neglected on the first round, desperate to get it right this time. Or we become compulsive comparers- always measuring our lives against some other person's life, secretly wondering if we should have taken her path instead. '

-Committed (all you married/soon to be married folk must read it).

I don't really have a refined way to put this, so I'm going to come right out with it: my head is going to FUCKING explode. Yes, EXPLODE.

Why, you ask?

To start with, three words, Food Porn Daily. This website, besides being  food lovers paradise, is absolute torture. Picture Fudgy double Chocolate Brownies dipped in rich Chocolate Ganache or Cheesecake with Peanut-butter mousse, Oreo crust and warm Peanut butter glaze or maybe, Smores pie with uttery Graham Cracker crust, Rich Chocolate Custard and Toasted Marshmallows drizzled with warm Chocolate Sauce. Yes, I'm fully aware I can just paste the links here and have you cry while you clutch your monitor, however, I'm not that horrible. Why have these enthralling visuals burn holes in your retina as well, right? Anyway, my point is that it's not fair. The colour, the way it's presented, the way it looks so ready-to-eat, even the name for crying out loud, drives me crazy. Especially when you're a pure-food-loving-breed, like me. And the very worst bit is not the ostentatiously exhibited food, it's the fact that once you open that darn website, you just CANNOT bring yourself to close it. 

As if that is not enough, there is Master Chef Australia every night at 9. And Nigella's Kitchen. And another one hundred similar shows that make sure you never escape what you're missing. It's downright agonizing if you ask me. 

And yet, with fifteen minutes left, I'm nearing the end of this post because guess what's on next? Master Chef Australia. So really, this whole venting thing I have going on? Don't fall for it. Because it's all my fault.