Thursday, July 29, 2010

I've been wanting to write for really long now, except every time I log on, I invariably decide today is not the day and go read my comic strip. Or more commonly, get on facebook. However today, I have made up my mind to stay on longer than ten minutes and actually type something as opposed to just staring at my monitor waiting for something to drop from the sky.
My last week has gone by pretty quickly. I helped out backstage with this play called Lysistrata. Everyone has always told me I'd make a proficient actress on account of being so animated and SUCH a drama queen, but when it came to actaully watching them, I figured I could never be that good. Now, I'm not saying I'm incapable of getting into a role (not that I've ever actually been asked to do so) I'm just saying I lack the basic requirement of every good actor: confidence. I don't know what it is about facing an audience that has me in such a flutter. Actually, it's more of a sweaty palms, quivering knees and hoping that the ground will open up and swallow me whole kind of feeling. Sigh, so much for my becoming an endearing actress and capturing hearts. Anyway, coming back to the play and what I was helping out with. So,I was given this one simple task (among others of course) of dragging these logs off stage during a 5 second blackout. My wonderful eye sight along with my extremely nervous/clumsy streak proved to be a very bad combination. Next thing I knew I was crouching with my back to the audience when the lights came back on. Short of a quick panic attack, I managed to get up and hold as many of those stupid logs as I could, except one of them fell down and make the loudest noise (atleast I thought it was QUITE loud). The incident most definitely made it into the top 5 on my list of most embarrassing moments. Trust me, you do not want to know what the rest are. Well, other than THAT, I helped with props,makeup, hair and costumes which turned out to be okay (thankfully). So I guess all is not lost. Yes, that was just me looking on the bright side and trying to find a shred of positivity in a seemingly hapless situation. Yeah, surprising I know.
There. I've written enough I suppose. Now, I MUST find something to eat, and THEN I'll be sure to sleep in peace. Why I need something to eat so desperately at THIS hour? Ah, that's a story for another time.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual.
- Iris, The Holiday.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

So I came online in a huff (what's new) and decided it was high time I got rid of my old boring layout. Yes, I'm aware this one is a little chirpy and bright and gives out a very I'm-so-happy-all-the-time vibe. You see, that is kind of the point. I figured if my life is not going in quite the same direction (in fact far from it), I might as well make it appear as if I'm thrilled at the prospect of another day. Although, now that I've written this, it sort of defeats the purpose I'm thinking.
I'm extremely restless. I was considering going and watching the idiot box, except there is a lizard in the vicinity. Also stepping outside this room would mean listening to my mother drone on about how I'm irresponsible, so on and so forth. I don't understand how she never seems to run out of complaints when it comes to me. I mean frankly, I think I'm quite an angel. Oh well. College seems to be getting worse by the day. Haven't gone out in ever! Currently, I'm thinking up excuses to just get the hell out of here. Here implies Hyderabad. There is also this one party in Chennai that I'm dying to go for. I made the mistake of letting Akshita in on it and now she is already getting ready to leave and asking me questions about our travel, which would be okay IF I had the slightest chance of getting permission to go. Of late, reading sappy love stories is making me sick. No really, I actually feel the need to gag. What is WRONG with me? Perhaps it's that time of the month. Or maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe my brain cells are dying on account of the number of times Paddi says drugs (bad one i know). Or maybe..ah heck, forget it. Okay, looks like I'm done here. I can't help but notice how this entry is such a contradiction to my pretty/happy backdrop. Sigh.