Monday, March 28, 2011

I have somehow managed to lose my bunch of post-its. And that really annoys me. Besides the fact that I have to hunt for paper every time I want to jot something down, I miss seeing colourful bits of little-square-sheets lying all over the place. Oddly, the scribbled notes, hurried lists, little heartfelt mentions, pending funnybook entries, forgotten  ideas and numerous words are so reassuring you know? Cause as silly as it may sound, they (the aforementioned) kind of define me. Those little post-its? They contain a little bit of who I am.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I think I can handle the truth. If someone were to come up to me and explain a situation, tell me what they actually felt as opposed to what I wanted to hear, yeah, I think I could handle it. However, half truths, ostentatious bullshit, doubtful decisions and prevarications, that I cannot handle. I don't care if it's to shield me from the 'anguish' or to feed their own ego or to set their unsure minds at ease. I honestly don't give a shit. Just say it and get it over with, you know? Save us both the hassle and just get it over with.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I can't believe my semester exams are here. Already. Just the sight of my political science notes is making me dizzy. I shudder to think about how I'm going to get myself to study that gibberish, let alone manage to pass the ruddy subject. Then of course, there's the fact that April/May is almost here. I know, I know, every year it's the same story. And every year there's promptly a post about how distressed I am about the coming of summer. In my defence, the weather gets steadily worse and if I don't quetch here, where else will I, right? Currently, I have six tabs open (all exam related) and the thought of going through every one of them made me recoil and rush to seek solace here. It's amazing how many things you find to distract yourself at the absolute wrong time. Suddenly, my phone has become a vital organ (not that it was any less of an organ before), Drawmything has become a daily occurrence (if you don't already play it, start!). Cutting onions and perfecting it is now of crucial importance. Don't even get me started on the tempting effect my black cordless phone has on me. And then there's my sister's face. And the mirror. And the fact that I waste hours eating and walking around. It's exhausting to be this distracted, really. The only ray of hope in this wretched situation is the fact that I can binge on raw mango. And probably get thinner, what with nerves winning the fight over calories. Not to mention how for once, insomnia is probably a blessing. See, I'm slowly mastering the art of looking for a silver lining in every situation. On this happy and fulfilling note, I'm going to work my way through those six tabs and be the studyingrockstar (haha) I am.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I've learnt hope is a guileful little fellow.
Where ever he goes, whoever he follows, he is never alone. He works in close coordination with his accomplice, expectation. And let me tell you, together they are one fatal combination. So fatal, that once they strike, they leave you forever doubtful. Which is just as well because that way, you're forced to take life as it comes. One day at a time. Until you obviate all disappointment and live to be a little more content. And a little less hopeful.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I don't know what I want anymore.
Suddenly life seems like it's full of choices and everytime I think about picking one thing, I'm afraid of what I might lose by not considering the other. Of course, going down one path is inevitable. It always comes down to that and that's what scares the hell out of me. The fact that it is so final. See, all this seemed like such a big deal in my head. Now however, I have NO idea why I'm continuing with this post. Anyway, on a completely unrelated note, I was watching Pulp Fiction the other day and this dialogue just stuck: "Don't you hate that? Uncomfortable silences? Why do we feel its necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share a silence." Don't ask. It just stuck.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I've been meaning to write for a while now, just haven't seemed to find the time.
Today (now) however, I have lots of it. While all my friends are out celebrating 'Women's Day', I'm sitting at home and trying to figure out what internship to do over the summer. While I sit listening to Lincoln Hawk's Everytime, I can tell you I'm not making much progress. Of course, that among many other distractions. Anyway, I won't get into details because I told myself this would be a solely career related post (HAHA). So, coming to the matter at hand: I have no idea what I want to do. Not just about this internship business, but two years from now as well. I think my Mother's persistent nagging has really gotten to me because the whole of today that is ALL I've been thinking of. My life in two years. I'll admit the prospects look very dim right now considering all I do is sit around and watch movies. However, I think I've sort of been jolted awake from otiose stupor and I've decided  to start doing something about my life. Work hard and get into some good college, pass out and get a good job, earn the big bucks and live the life. How's that for a start?