Saturday, May 28, 2011

About a year ago, I watched an incredible movie. It didn't have some intriguing story line, fancy sets or gorgeous people. If there was one word I'd use to describe 'Before Sunrise', it would be: simple. Simple in every respect. Right from the protaganists to the very story itself. So simple. When it ended I remember I felt so restless and of course I knew it was 'just a movie' but it was so unfinished and that bothered me. That night, I sat down to write a 'book' about how it should've ended (ended in my head, that is). Needless to say, I didn't make any progress. And good thing too, because it turned out there was a sequel! Which I watched today I might add. 'Before Sunset' was made nine years later and that added to the essence of the plot in many ways. It retained it's simplicity and yet showed that emotions can be so complex, conflicting and ardent. And that years later, they still continue to consume with the same intensity. It made me marvel at how how sometimes, things change so much and yet, not change at all.  So, finally that little nagging thought at the back of my head as to what happened after the first movie vanished. Only to be replaced with a new one.

Please, please, please make a threequel and complete this wonderful story.

Friday, May 27, 2011

So I was feeling in the mood and decided my page needed a make over (hence the purple), and by that I mean a change. Speaking of changes, this is the first summer in a really long time that I've stayed put in Hyderabad. It's nice you know? Not having to escape this city because of men who drove me to insanity, or packing my bags the first chance I got because I was tired of the monotony and needed a break from familiar faces (and the drama more importantly). This time, I gladly stayed back. I can definitely tell you it isn't for the internship I'm currently at. I don't even know if you can call this an internship considering I do NOTHING all day except use facebook and stumble. ThankGod for stumbleupon, really. Not only is it my saving grace, but it's also informative, funny, smart, artsy, gripping and makes you fall in love. It's everything you'd want in a man (haha). Unless you already have one and are extremely happy. Yes, coming back, minus the crap internship, I'm pretty happy that I'm not state trotting this year. More about (why) that later though. The Colette Tatou look alike from Ratatouille is hovering and that's making me rather uncomfortable.

Also, Crumbs of Consolation because it struck a chord, in case you were wondering. And if you weren't, well now you know.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

There are always questions.
It doesn't matter if you're euphoric, happy or just plain content. There are always questions. However, on the bright side, they are always answered. It may take longer than necessary; they may come when you've long given up on knowing, but they always come. You've just got to be wait and believe that. I think the Tao puts it beautifully: Don't seek and don't expect. Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clean. Be patient and wait. Your mud will settle. Your water will be clear.
You know that feeling of being trapped in a tiny room with four walls and hardly any ventilation? Yeah, I feel like that right now (metaphorically obviously). There is so much going on in my head and I can't do anything about it. I can't talk about it, because it's complicated and the four walls prevent me from getting answers and hence I'm having a real ball while this thing eats at me, slowly. It's really not the perfect start to my Sunday morning.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I need to read something like Eat Pray Love again. That book just spoke to me. Not that I've ever been married/divorced or had a failed romance that sent me to an Ashram and around the world. No, far from it actually. But it still spoke to me in a way I can never quite explain. Imagine my disappointment when I picked up some book I happened to buy and put it down after the first 3 lines. When you're not feeling in the best mood and you sit down to read or watch a movie, I think it's vital that they reflect what you're feeling. Call me crazy, I probably am, but that's how it works for me. And right now, it's really pissing me off that I can't find anything to befit my mood. Oh wait, 'something borrowed' just came to save my life. Hopefully this should do it. Reviews soon.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Here's the thing about falling in love.
It isn't a contiguous event. It doesn't just hit you one morning. What it does is, it  takes you by surprise. It's more of a revelation. A  gradual process you become more involved in, everyday. And once it does build up and become that all consuming feeling of giddy happiness, you know it's hit you. Yes, when you smile for no apparent reason, when you feel so light headed that you almost glide through monotonous routines, when you can't tear your gaze away from your cellphone screen cause God forbid you miss a text, when you can't make sense of anything anymore and still enjoy every minute of being clueless, yes my friend, that means you're falling.  All you know is that, that person is enlaced with your every thought. Their happiness becomes your happiness. Black and white becomes colour, your little bathroom singing sessions become louder, mushy becomes your new middle name and suddenly the world is a better place. Falling in love can be wonderful. It can be overwhelming and vertiginous, but you would be a fool if you said it wasn't worth every minute.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today, while I scooped at the frozen surface of the mango ice cream (Granny's famous recipe) my father made, I thought about the memories it brought with it. It took me back to that old and comfortable house. Sometimes I shut my eyes trying to remember the details better. I visualize the entrance, the red upholstery, the flooring with its ancient pattern, the green plants, the curtains, the smell of good food and most importantly, my lovely grandparents. When I hugged them, I felt bones and loose flesh. I was always afraid I'd hurt them, but then they'd look down at me and smile and say something so nice, I would  feel reassured and content almost instantly. That house was always alive. There was always laughter and conversation. I remember spending hours lying in the room with that huge fan, while my cousins and I would just watch it turn, until we fell asleep. I remember playing in the garden with leaves and flowers and twigs, and making various concoctions for our 'cooking show' while Granny would shout 'Come inside! Don't drink that'. I remember how I would sleep between Granny and Dada and listen to them snore softly. I remember listening to stories and looking at old pictures in their black and white glory. I recall sitting around the wooden table, with hot, steaming food and the box of sugar. I remember how we raced to the fridge to get the mango ice cream out first.
It's funny how it all seems so distant  and yet, these few memories are so vivid and so real. I feel a pang of sadness every now and then, when I think about how I only knew my grandparents for a few years. White hair, transparent and wrinkled skin, walking sticks and soft voices. But then, I stop and think of what wonderful people they were, how they raised four children and took care of so many more, how they showered their eight grandchildren with so much love and affection and made that white house, a home. They were the strongest people I ever knew. While every visit to the hospital would scare us silly, they came back unperturbed. They fought until the very end and I watched them do it.
Even today, no family gathering is complete without talking about them. And even though the same story has been told umpteen times, it never gets old. We still laugh and love and miss them, together. And I think that's all they would have really wanted. Not to be forgotten. To be a cherished memory.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sometimes, I wonder whether most things in life are a coincidence. Other times, I believe that most things, if not all, are fated. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind made me think. Two people, shared history, a relationship that ends in a fight and one person walking out the door. That's life, you think. And then the next thing you know the same two people are having their minds erased of all their memories together. And yet, when they meet years later, they hit it off. Again. Maybe it's simple: you can't fight it. Maybe you can't alter every course. Maybe somethings aren't supposed to be in your control. Maybe going out of your way to fix it is not the way to fix it. I think when it comes down to it, coincidence, fate, or anything for that matter, it should just be.