Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Just yesterday, I was talking to a friend who was going through a crisis. His instinctive reaction to solving it was to stop giving a shit, closely followed by negative thoughts about how everyone was going to do the exact same thing to him. My advice was simple, in fact, I bet you would have suggested the same thing if you were there. I told him that you can't stereotype people. You can't stop having faith just because something went wrong once. And you most definitely can't fight a (good) feeling because you are afraid it's going to end a particular way. As much as you avoid seeing it, everyone is not out to get you. Past experiences and things that you have never recovered from? They hang around, lurking and ready to resurface all the time. Most often, they come back when you are most vulnerable. And almost everytime, they achieve their desired purpose. I have learnt that the only way to move past them is to realize that that chapter in your life is over. And with its completion, it takes with it all those little moments, all that sadness and all those feelings too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that what happens today most certainly does not depend on yesterday. Every person brings something new to your life. And it is only fair that you give them a chance as opposed to regarding them as someone you were once associated to.

Maybe all we need to do is have a little bit of faith.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

College is an annoying place to be in.
 You drag yourself out of bed every morning, make your way around stumbling, sometimes falling, go about your daily cleansing routine and manage to get decent clothes on (note: has to cover your ass and show as little skin as possible). You then shove something that resembles food down your throat (usually) and you leave home picturing that bed and all the sleep you just missed out on. You reach the lane, wonderfully green and lush on both sides, and try to look forward to what lies at the end of it. You look at the last two men you will probably see for a good three hours and you enter the big black gates they are made to 'guard'. Almost at once, you are overwhelmed by the sea of faces (of the same sex). I mean, it seems the entire female population of our city is locked up in this place called college. Anyway, being too sleepy to care any longer, you walk your way through all the noisy, chirpy girls (i mean HOW do they do it) and sit on the calming sliver benches I like to call home. You then feel a little more awake as you strain your eyes to scrutinize and form silent judgement of all the strange girls who walk by. By this time, you spot your two favorite faces and being sleep deprived and all that other bullshit takes a backseat. You bitch, loudly this time and pass time until that fateful bell rings so loudly you almost jump. You climb all those stairs and get to your first class. You take your time to walk to the end of the classroom, I mean come on, nobody wants to sit at that back of the class right? Wrong. You sit down, pull out your cell phone, read a book, talk and hide behind all those people sitting in front of you and before you know it 12:30 is here! Now, you are starving to death.You run out of class, find food and eat like you haven't seen food in ages. You sit on the silver benches and bitch some more and then when the bell sounds, you return to your stuffy class. By this time, all that sleep you need to make up for, catches up with you.You sit through the last few classes, with your eyes half closed, subconsciously hoping and praying that time will move a little faster. And then, the minute you hear scrambling feet, your eyes snap open and you feel free.
Yes, this is a pretty apt account of my life in college.

Now, the part after we exit those horrid black gates? That's a completely different thing. Achu, Bee and me hold hands, walk and laugh the entire time. Sometimes, we run and do stupid things. Sometimes, we stand under random buildings while its raining and do the hustle while cursing every person we know. Sometimes, we plan out our legend..wait for it..ary (haha) scams and put it to practice, other times we drink fountain coke. Almost everyday, we argue with an auto guy. And almost everyday, we win that argument. That walk outside, until that ruddy main road? That's the best part of my day.
The part after we exit those horrid black gates? That's the part I'm always going to remember.

Monday, September 6, 2010

So, I finally got that blackberry I wanted. My bbm hasn't been activated yet and that really annoys me. You'd think a new phone I don't really deserve would be enough, but no. Trust me to never be content. There, I admitted it. And no, of course I'm not proud of how nothing seems to quench my longing for more.

 The very first thing I did before I got a new phone was to transfer every single message from my old phone onto my treasured orange pen drive. I don't know what it is about me and having this obsessive need to save things. It's like I just don't want to delete an old message (that probably means nothing now), because in some odd way, I feel I'll forget that moment. Forget the situation and the relevance the message held/holds. Forget the very person who sent it to me. Strange as it may seem, I have this NEED to hold onto things (quite obviously) even if the object in question is some stupid text message I got two years ago. No, I am not insane, I assure you. As already mentioned, I just have issues with forgetting.

Ever got a message that just made you swell with happiness? Ever had an unbelievably fun day and taken just ONE picture? Ever met the most incredible person who only left you with a string of complements and nothing else (not even a phone number, damn the stupid *beep*)? Ever been on the best date ever and saved a bill? Ever passed notes in class that made you forget about everything except getting that note across without getting caught? Ever read a book with brilliant/inspiring lines or laughed so hard at something your friend said? Well, whether you admit it or not, we have ALL been there. What's probably different between you and me is that you would've forgotten all about it. Eventually. I on the other hand, save that message, hold onto that picture, remember those compliments, keep that bill, preserve those notes, write down those lines and quote those people. Finally, when the above takes up too much space on my computer I save it all on my hot as hell orange pen drive (sorry, the adjectives were totally out of context, I know). Or start a new book when the old one gets over. Sometimes I sit and read through all those texts, lines, quotes, notes and look at those pictures even if it happens to be for the nth time. I'm aware I sound obsessed. And a little scary to those of you who aren't concerned with details or aren't bothered about holding onto for keepsake. What can I say? Guess that's just who I am.