Thursday, October 11, 2012

We've all heard it before - live in the present, why worry about the future? Seems like a fairly reasonable mantra to live by, right? Wrong. The way I see it, the future is an ubiquitous shadow lurking close by. It peeps at you from behind the nearest alley, constantly reminding you that it is around - watching you, judging your every decision. Eventually when you give up eluding the future, you decide to plan for it instead. Yes, I am one such planner. If you think I'm trying to sell this idea to you, I'm most definitely not. I hate how I constantly worry and dwell on what is to come. On a good day, I am thrilled at the promise and possibilities the future holds. On other days, I fear the change it will necessitate and the disappointment it will  bring. Very often, I am vexed by the thought that everything I have done so far will be for nothing. A degree in Mass Media when my passion has always been Art, deciding to stay in a city when I could've been somewhere else, choosing to work  instead of travelling the world and going back to college - and most often, this isn't just restricted to my professional decisions but my personal relationships too.
Being at constant battle with yourself is the worst kind of conflict, because you can't shut it out like you can another person. There are no doors you can slam or long drives you can take to get away from it. So, that leaves me with just one option : find a way around it.
Stop planning three years down the line, stop being unsure, stop dwelling and most importantly, stop looking back to scrutinize. While there are hundred things that can go wrong, there are also hundred things that can go right. How's that for a start?

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