Monday, February 6, 2012

When you were little, you always got your way. You cried and promptly came your milk, you threw a fit and everybody surrounded you asking 'what's wrong baby? What do you want?', you were allowed to leave your broccoli if you didn't want it, you were taken to the restaurant of your choice, you got to keep the remote (you even got to pick the movie), your little friend circle always disliked the people you disliked-in short, you did the things you wanted to. You made the decisions. And sometimes you made them for other people as well.
Soon, you grew up. You were admonished for being self centred, you were made to eat your broccoli, you were asked to give other people a chance to pick a movie and everyone formed their own opinions in that same little friend circle. It, of course, took you a while to come to terms with this deviation from what you thought was a way of life. Eventually as you got older, you came to realize that the phrase 'it's my way or the highway' would get you nowhere. However, in spite of being twenty-seemingly reasonable and mature and yada yada- that little adolescent (what with it's timely appearance and all) still has expectations, sometimes. You still like to pick the restaurant even if it's more often than not, you still feel like leaving the broccoli out-for old time's sake, you still expect your friends to side with you even if it isn't their battle to fight and most importantly, you still expect to be understood without having to say it. I say most importantly, because adults have this ostensible notion that saying what you feel is not an option. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that you're afraid of being judged or if in some pathetic way it makes you a lesser person for thinking it. As a subsequent result, you make a little world of your own in that head of yours and you are left to deal with it by yourself. And as if that were not bad enough, you expect to be understood and have the gall to be upset when you're not. I think what I'm trying to say is that- even as adults who are required to be level-headed, free of insecurities and selfless- that little child in us will always be just that- a child.

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